< Piro >
Friday - January 5, 2001
Today the fine providers of l33t info over at Slashdot linked this site in their poll entitled, "The main reason I got broadband access". After checking the weblogs for today, our hit counts were indeed, disaster-rific!
"Ruri-Ruri Naked & Petrified"
For those who don't quite understand the above reference, It began as a prank to what this website originally was, a knockoff of slashdot. Long before Piro and I had the complete lack of wisdom to end up making a webcomic, while we still had an ounce of good sense left in our heads, we setup megatokyo.com as a website for Japanese news and events.
Of course, this project was a dismal failure, which only resulted in spam posts featuring the above listed "Ruri-Ruri Naked & Petrified", these posts where made presumably by the same guy who pours hot grits down his pants on the before mentioned Slashdot on a semi-regular basis.
Initializing Rant Engine 2001.1.2
I gotta hand it to mankind when it comes to technology, all the power that is instant global communication in the palm of our hands, and we choose to spam everything in existence, raising the noise to signal ratio to an unprecedented level of mediocrity.
Between all the webspyders on the net searching, pulling, and grabbing my email off the many places it sits, I end up getting to start the day off right, with a balanced breakfast of eggs, toast, cereal, and fsck'n spam!
I hate spam, can you tell?
Tomorrow morning I expect to wake up, check my email, and find a offer for a all herbal miracle drug that not only functions as a viagra substitute but also reverses the aging process, improves my memory, increases weight loss, and gets me a good deal on replacement printer toner.
In case you didn't notice, I hate spam.
Bandwidth is a resource, it may not be a natural one, but it's a resource in limited supply nonetheless. Every time a piece of spam mail is sent out, a million electrons cry out for mercy as their short sweet existence is wasted to deliver a meaningless piece of spam. I demand we setup round the clock protests at the Direct Marketers Association Headquarters until the senseless slaughter of these poor electrons ceases!
How can we standby and allow these innocent beings to be victimized and abused by the cold unfeeling hands of corporate America?
No, protests are not enough; I demand we as a nation declare a - WAR ON SPAM! - the newly formed SEA - Spam Enforcement Agency is pledged to stop all trafficking of spam into the net. My sources tell me that such an agency could - with billions of dollars in funding - be able to stop at least 1% of the spam that enters the net.
Furthermore, I appoint myself as the first Spam Czar. I pledge to carry on the good fight against senseless dribble - wherever, and whenever it strikes.
To that end I am stopping this rant before it gets even sillier.